Dave Richards' Weekly Column in The Woonsocket Call
Dave Richards for March 16th.............
--I wish I was making up some of the stuff I write about each week in these
pages, friend. It would be so comforting to think that the world isn't as
messed up as it sometimes appears to be. I often comment on stories I read
on my station's news wire service. Today they are reporting that the Arizona
man who is running against U.S. Senator from Arizona (and former
presidential candidate) John McCain is claiming that same-sex marriage could
legalize beastiality. Former Congressman J.D. Hayworth is supporting a
national ban on same-sex marriage by means of a definition that marriage
must be between a human male and a human female. Mr. Hayworth points out
that in Massachusetts the Supreme Judicial Court, which effectively
legalized gay marriage in the Bay State, actually defined marriage as "the
establishment of intimacy" between two beings. The candidate admits that it
may seem absurd, but if a person claimed they really had affection for their
horse, under Massachusetts law they could marry the horse.
That's just crazy enough to be true. Now I've heard everything!
--Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day, or the Feast of St. Patrick. And feast is
what we do. More area restaurants than ever have added the traditional
corned beef and cabbage to their menu for the holiday and official
celebrations have been going on since the parade in Pawtucket on the first
Saturday of the month. I will be marking the date in my usual way, as part
of the annual Martin P. Crowley Scholarship Dinner at the Elks Hall. The
affair has once again sold out as in years past, so unless you already have
your ticket I'm afraid you'll be disappointed.
--Here's another one that has me scratching my head in wonder. I've just
read on our news wire that there is a lady who lives in Old Bridge, New
Jersey who is not happy weighing 600 pounds. So far so good. But it says
here that she wants to weigh 1,000 pounds two years from now. Yikes! Donna
Simpson is 42 years old and is seeking help from the public to finance her
12,000 calorie a day diet. She has a website so people can login and watch
her eat. Yuck. Simpson admits it could be difficult to hit the half-ton
mark, though, because running around after her baby daughter really takes a
lot out of her. Hmmm.
--I would have liked to believe that this couldn't happen any more, but CNN
has once again reported news that isn't true. Yes, it's a competitive
business, this 24 hours news game. And sometimes you are tempted to make
things up to get attention. Some times you get away with it and sometimes
you don't. On Sunday morning CNN reported that a certain new music video by
the popular performers Lady Gaga and Beyonce was banned by the MTV music
video channel because it was too violent and such. However, MTV had been
playing the video since it debut on Friday regularly. Do I care? Not about
the video. But I do care that some people believe the slogan, "CNN IS news."
What would make so-called professional people do this? Well, there are
stupid people in every profession, friend. It just scares me to think how
much the average viewer trusts these people, it really does.
--Here's a great example of the point I just made. Even if you are trying to
be truthful, you may be mistaken. Last week in these pages I warned the
property owners in Slatersville about the experiences I have had with
historic districts and the fifedoms they create. I was sincere and I did not
blow up what I've seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears any
bigger than it was. I urged everyone concerned to learn as much as they
could before agreeing to giving up their property rights in perpetuity. But
it seems than my concerns were out of date.
I subsequently received an email from North Smithfield Town Administrator
Paulette Hamilton informing me that, while she didn't doubt that abuses may
have occurred in the past that I may have witnessed, that such was not the
case in Slatersville. Paulette assured me, as she has assured the property
owners of the village, that there are no such prohibitions regarding the
remodeling of interiors or that the normal upkeep of any property in the
proposed district would be compelled to be done in the most expensive
historically accurate way. Also, any reasonable exterior color will be
satisfactory. In short, she says that my fears for you are unfounded and I
believe her. I've known Paulette Hamilton for many years and I've seen no
reason to doubt her. Good. But I would still read all the contracts very
carefully. That's a point that she and I both agree on.
--That's what I think. What do you think? Comments to dave@onworldwide.com
or mail to: Dave Richards, WOON Radio, 985 Park Avenue, Woonsocket, RI
02895-6332. Thanks for reading.
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